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Bachelor In Paradise Season 6, Week 3, Part 1: Model Behavior

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ABC


Hey, guys. Welcome to week three of what is shaping up to be a summer full of twists and U-turns. Last night was the second rose ceremony and we welcomed one new lady to Paradise. But before we jump in, you should check out the recap from last week. I hear the girl who wrote it is really hot and has her life together.

Last time we hung out, Jordan and Christian were fighting for Clay because of Nicole (it’s complicated I know) and we’re picking back up with Jordan attempting to rip down the piñata Christian set up. Remember? Okay good.

Anyway, Jordan literally throws Christian off the daybed he was sitting on and after landing flat on his back, Christian lunges at Jordan and a very tired production team struggles to rip the two apart. Jordan and Christian are both removed from the show because of Paradise’s zero-tolerance policy for violence. The elimination of two-thirds of Nicole’s love interest pie chart means she is now able to completely focused on Clay. We love a queen who settles.

A lot of men are unsure who will be giving them a rose tonight, but Onyeka also feels like she’s scrambling to make a connection. In an attempt to like … get her to like him? … Cam tells Onyeka that Mike expressed that Onyeka is not his type. This leaves her feeling like she has no options in Paradise, saying that she’d rather just throw her rose into the ocean at this point.

Despite watching Hannah G. makeout with Blake in front of literally everyone, Dylan still feels confident that he and Hannah can fall in love here in Mexico. Hannah feels that she’s keeping her options open and when Mike asks where her head is at this week, she makes a cringe-worthy joke that there are actually eight men in the mix. Yikes. It was a good question, Mike. I’m also wondering where Hannah’s head is! Hannah mentions her indecisiveness in her talking head, saying that she’s been taking a multivitamin, but now needs to decide whether to take Vitamin D(ylan) or Vitamin B(lake). I think she should take a (C)ollege course on nutrition because that metaphor made no sense. You’re gonna be anemic, girl!

Before the rose ceremony Dylan sets up a cute picnic for Hannah that she absolutely loves, but Blake steals her away to surprise her with a mariachi band and the two begin to dance in front of everyone. Wow, this guy really loves to twirl. Dylan says how disrespected he feels that she keeps doing these things in front of him and he leaves the group to cry out of frustration. Hey, that’s Cam’s thing! Get your own thing, Dylan!

In case there wasn’t enough drama, Onyeka interrupts our dad Chris Harrison at the rose ceremony to make a tearful announcement. She feels that she has not made a connection in Paradise and doesn’t expect to. Because of this, she has made the decision to not give out her rose and instead go home. Which is exactly what I would do if Mike rejected me.

The rose ceremony is pretty predictable except for a few surprise new pairings. Demi gives her rose to Derek, Katie gives her rose to elder Chris Bukowski, Nicole obviously gives her rose to Clay, Caelynn gives her rose to Dean, Tayshia gives her rose to John Paul Jones and Sydney gives her rose to Mike. So who went home on this installment of BIP?

Hannah decides to give her rose to Dylan and literally everyone, but mostly Mike, is beaming. “Karma is a b*tch! I wish [Hannah and Dylan] the best,” John Paul Jones excitedly shares in his talking head. Everyone on the risers collectively breathes a sigh of relief. The only person left to give out their rose is Kristina and she wouldn’t do something crazy like give Blake her rose, right? That’s like too on-the-nose Russian villain, right? Wrong. In her confessional, Kristina shares that the decision to give Blake her rose was made to ensure Blake would have to live in his own personal hell watching Hannah and Dylan canoodle for another week. I guess in a way we’re all in our own personal hell because of this decision. So thanks a lot, Kristina!

“No! No! No! All Blake needs right now is to be sent home in the back of an SUV, but the universe just won’t let it happen,” Demi vents in her talking head because reality stars really *are* just like us.

This means Cam is thankfully going home along with a very drunk Kevin and for some reason Wills. Why can’t this gorgeous Urban Outfitters mannequin find love?

The sun rises following the second rose ceremony and there’s an equal number of men and women if you disregard that gender is a spectrum. Blake is feeling pretty defeated since Hannah decided to pursue things with Dylan, but hopefully for his sake whoever comes down the stairs of Paradise next is into really small heads and really big egos. That person is Caitlin Clemmens who went home week 3 of Colton Underwood’s season. After asking Dean and then Derek, Caitlin finally settles on Blake. Dylan makes a joke that hopefully, she wasn’t at Stagecoach, but no surprise here, she was! “Nothing happened!” Blake says in his talking head. Sure, Blake.

Caitlin and Blake spend their day doing tantric yoga. I guess the producers figured since it worked for Krystal Nielson and Chris Randone, maybe sexy yoga would incite the same passionate love story for these two. Blake comes clean about everything that has happened the past two weeks (and also before that), but it’s mostly just him talking and Caitlin offering an occasional “yeah.” Caitlin seems pretty accepting despite being shocked that so much could happen in such a short amount of time. The two make out in the pool and Blake shares in his confessional that he feels that it’s time for him to forgive himself. What is wrong with this man?

Despite their relatively nice date, Blake is upset to discover Dylan received a date card and will be taking Hannah out tonight. “That’s the dress she would have worn to my date, you know?” he shares with the group.

Hannah and Dylan share a beautiful fake dinner by water and candlelight and Hannah offers him an apology for all of the drama she’s put him through over the past two weeks. She says that through all the chaos, Dylan has consistently made her feel special. The two have a really vulnerable and sweet talk and then Dylan drops the bomb. He tells Hannah that he’s beginning to fall in love with her (after three weeks?!) to which she responds with a weak “I’m all in for you.”

The two makeout as a group of 101 Aztec warriors gather around them, dancing and shouting. For a second I thought it was a visual representation of Bachelor Nation screaming in disapproval at the Hannah and Dylan. But it was not. It was Aztec warriors.

Chris Bukowski and Katie are making strides in Paradise, proving to be one of the strongest connections on the beach. Both of them feel that there is a potential engagement here. Which makes sense. Chris Bukowski isn’t getting any younger. 32 is 45 in Bachelor years. Another couple heating up fast is John Paul Jones and Tayshia. John Paul Jones says he feels foolish even pursuing Tayshia who he admits is the most beautiful girl he has ever talked to. Tayshia is surprised the two of them have hit it off, but she can see that underneath John Paul Jones’s stoner- surfer exterior is an intelligent man. John Paul Jones says in his confessional that he is beginning to fall in love with Tayshia as the two of them jump into the pool and continue to make out.

Demi, on the other hand, is feeling very conflicted about her relationship with her Derek since she can’t stop thinking about her ~girlfriend~ Kristian from back home. So Hannah Brown is stopping by the sandy shores of Paradise to check in with her best friend. Demi tells Hannah how accepting Derek has been about her feelings for Kristian. “They’re both so good for me,” Demi tearfully tells Hannah before hugging her goodbye so she can discuss all of these insecurities with Derek. She tells him that she’s still struggling with both of these relationships and Derek is perfectly understanding, sharing that he will continue to fight for her.

Demi leaves their conversation and approaches production, asking to speak to the Wizard of Paradise, Chris Harrison. Katie wonders out loud if this means Demi will be going home and when Chris Harrison appears to ask what’s going on, the episode ends. Hopefully, this doesn’t mean Demi will be leaving. I’ve already lost Jordan this week. I can’t lose another funny blonde! See you all tomorrow.

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