Entertainment

A Choni Talk Show Probably Isn’t Happening, But We Wish It Was

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A Choni Talk Show Probably Isn t Happening  But We Wish It Was choni talk show 640x400 jpg

The CW

Twitter user (and obvious Choni stan) @bombshelpetsch shared some Instagram Stories from the official Riverdale account and Vanessa Morgan that for sure look like a Choni talk show. After deleting a bunch of Choni scenes from season two of the CW show, we’ve earned this.

Vanessa’s post teased that she had started a talk show with Madelaine Petsch, with a geotag for “Between 2 Vixens” on the story. The official Riverdale account also shared footage from whatever it is that Mads and Vanessa were filming yesterday, proclaiming at the end that something called Between 2 Vixens would be airing tomorrow on the CW. The sneak peek features Toni and Cheryl chilling with some strawberry milkshakes on their bed at Thistlehouse, and it certainly looks very talk show-y. Here, see for yourself:

Unfortunately, another big hint as to what’s going on is hiding in plain sight under Riverdale‘s Insta username: “paid partnership with att.” Odds are that instead of giving the people what they want (a Choni talk show), they’ll be giving their advertiser what they need (roughly three minutes of canned dialogue and some prolonged shots of Cheryl on her phone). Lezbihonest, Riverdale cares about as much about their LGBTQ couples as Archie currently cares about music. It was a good idea, and then they abandoned it. Even Reggie and Veronica get more screen time than Choni, and literally no one cares about their random relationship. PSA Riverdale writers: just because a couple is together IRL does not mean that they add *anything* to your story. JS. And, like, Cheryl and Toni aside for a second, where the heck did Moose and Kevin go? Why do they have to play national treasure Casey Cott dirty like that?

Reggie and Veronica’s VDay episode arc includes what looks like a super explicit sex scene, and Riverdale hasn’t shown any LGBTQ sex since they decided Kevin was going to start gay cruising at the ~worst possible time~.

This isn’t FOX News, we can support the gay community here, y’all.

Point being, this is Riverdale. We’re probably getting a Choni commercial for flip phones instead of an actual romantic scene between the pair, and the showrunners think this will placate fans during the most romantic holiday of the year. Meanwhile, a couple that got together two episodes ago is auditioning for PornHub. Don’t let the possibility of an AT&T ad a Choni talk show distract you from what’s really happening: Riverdale‘s got to start evening out the playing field between its hetero and LGBTQ couples, ASAP. Happy Valentine’s Day, indeed.

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