Katy Keene Episode Seven Recap: Buss Down That Water Spout, Spider Woman
It only took two months for Katy Keene to whip out a musical episode. To be fair, every episode of this series has included a song or two, but Katy Keene episode seven is dedicated to the 1993 Tony-winning Best Musical Kiss of the Spider Woman. Don’t worry, I hadn’t heard of it either. What must it be like in Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa‘s mind? Just a jumble of obscure musicals that make even the most passionate theatre kids go, “Huh?” Genius. While Jorge channels his best Chita Rivera and/or Vanessa Williams, Katy is stuck making a wedding dress for her lover’s fiancé (yikes!) and Pepper tries to make a Faustian bargain with the Cabot twins (less yikes). What could possibly go wrong?
Katy Keene Episode Seven Recap: WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!
Katy Keene jumps right into Kiss of the Spider Woman with no explanation, but it does manage to tie Jorge’s latest venture into Katy’s mounting crisis. Tangled in a web of Errol’s lies (see what they did there?), Katy does *not* agree to design Patty’s wedding dress even though it would be a massive boost to her career. So, what? Instead of sleeping her way to the top she’s sleeping her way to nowhere? Seems like a worse deal to me. Katy lies that she turned down Patty’s dress in deference to Jorge’s musical, and Gloria rightfully points out that she’s an insane person.
Jorge’s musical is being produced by Pepper who’s planning to hold a fundraising event at the Pepper Plant. Meanwhile, Josie is annoyed with Alex because their listening party didn’t build any buzz for her EP. Joke’s on Josie because a scout from the Apollo is interested in booking her if she can get a few smaller gigs under her belt. Josie and Alex agree the best way to get her those gigs is for Alex to represent another musicians (yeah, the logic just isn’t there), so he decides to check out Jorge’s fundraiser. Also in attendance is KO, who manages to be the best boyfriend of all time even when he’s single, something Xandra Cabot has the good sense to appreciate. Unfortunately, Amanda stops by the show just in time to realize Katy was lying to Gloria about this being a huge, time consuming production. Jorge’s performance is great, but he literally pouts when the crowd isn’t feeling it. Onstage. He pouts onstage. This is the least professional man I’ve ever encountered, and I’ve been to SAE during their quarterly. Maybe that’s why Jorge doesn’t lure any investors, or maybe it’s because he chose to do the random-est musical on Earth, but Pepper still manages to raise capital by pitting the Cabot siblings against each other. She promises Alex that Josie will be the Spider Woman if the show makes it to Broadway and Xandra that Xandra can play the Spider Woman if the show makes it to Broadway. Jorge is pissed because he wanted to play the Spider Woman, but beggars can’t be choosers… and none of us know who she is anyway. The bright yet dim side is Jorge can invite his father now that Josie is taking over the female role. The bright yet brighter side is that Pepper raised double what they needed for the show so she could pocket half for the Pepper Plant. Don’t hate the player.
Ah yes self isolation is the perfect time to start wearing dramatic eyeshadow and gold jackets. Taking a page out of Pepper’s book and pretending I’m rich while also never leaving my apartment #KatyKeene pic.twitter.com/ypZedlnLA6
— · a t · (@scratchtovoid) March 20, 2020
Errol visits Katy at her apartment, which isn’t suspicious at all. He explains that he *did* leave Patricia but after their engagement photos were leaked to the press, his family insisted that the wedding had to take place to save face. Errol tells Katy that he’ll call off the wedding if she has feelings for him, and she shoots him down immediately. Oof. Gloria confronts Katy about her lies, and she spills everything about her royal fling. Gloria (again, rightfully) tells Katy she shouldn’t throw this opportunity away because of a man, and Jorge (wrongfully) suggests she design a magnificent dress with a glaring “crack” to force Patricia into turning the dress down. Thankfully, his plan doesn’t work because Patricia wholeheartedly believes that Katy will get it right once she believes in herself. Meanwhile, Patricia’s fiancé wholeheartedly believes that Katy will run away with him if he keeps sending her flowers. Have we mentioned Yikes?! Katy gives it another go despite the Spider Woman haunting her (yeah, that’s a thing) and has a minor mental break that ends in her spilling everything to Francois, who suggests she refrain from torpedoing her career over her moral compass. Francois connects her with her real OTP, Guy, who she ALSO tells everything. This is not how secrets stay secret, my dear. Guy designs the dress for Patricia on Katy’s bequest, which won’t help Katy’s career or solve any of her problems, but it does get her a date to Jorge’s show.
Jorge asks Josie to give back the role of the Spider Woman even though she has the Apollo booker coming. He says it’s because he wants his father to see Ginger, but why do I feel like he’s also a little upset that he doesn’t get to be the sexy star? Just sayin’. They compromise by having Jorge and Josie be Spider Women together, and Jorge’s dad is proud of his song the star. He’s still not super comfortable with Ginger (or with Jorge’s hot and amazing boyfriend), but it’s nice to see the baby steps. The Apollo booker walks away happy as well, and Guy asks Katy to be his apprentice. And they all lived Happily Ever After… right? Wrong. In Katy Keene episode seven’s final moment, Ginger and Bernardo are confronted by homophobic thugs. I don’t have anything funny to say about that.
Most CW Moment
— Riverdale Writers Room (@RiverdaleWriter) March 20, 2020
This entire episode is a CW moment. An hour-long musical episode dedicated to Kiss of the Spider Woman? Truly only on the CW.
Katy Keene Episode Seven: Weirdest “New York” Moment
— Stasia Demick (@stasiademick) March 20, 2020
Jorge’s musical is supposedly set to be the crown jewel of New York’s pride parade… which happens in the summer. Is he rehearsing for a show five months in advance? Is he planning on having a five month run at Mollie’s Crisis before Pride? Did they just pick a random LGBTQ event a throw it into the script? One of these things is more likely than the rest.
How We Feel
I’m starting to think Gloria promoted the right girl when she chose Heléne Yorke over Katy in the pilot. I’m also starting to think Katy was only brought into the window dressing department to justify this episode’s performance of “Dressing Them Up.” It’s not like she’s actually dressed a window this month. Unpopular opinion (maybe?), but Katy should have designed Patricia’s gown. We love that Guy was brought back into Katy’s world (because Luke Cook has Big Hottie Energy), but after hearing forty minutes of Katy’s friends and mentors explain that turning down this opportunity would be career suicide, it low-key looks like Katy just committed career suicide. If she was *still* sleeping with the prince, maybe I’d understand her hesitation, but I think when push comes to shove, Patricia will be more upset about the almost-infidelity than the dress. This episode’s neat conclusion wasn’t even a cop-out, it was just a thinly-veiled loss that seems weirdly sl*t-shame-y? Like, Katy’s first night with a guy after KO caused her to turn down a big career opportunity and birthed a huge moral quandary? That’s not super sex-positive for a network that made its brand Hot Rich People Banging. Honestly, isn’t it more iffy to be the apprentice of the guy you’re banging (which hopefully will happen for Katy and Guy soon) than to make the wedding dress of a woman who has bigger problems?
They do not explain this musical enough. Or really at all? Katy Keene spends a good chunk of time on Spider Woman-themed production without clueing the audience into the basic plot of the musical beyond “there’s a spider woman” and “Jorge’s playing all the parts.” From the Victor/Victrola realness we saw onstage, I *need* to know what’s going on, if not for clarity then for my own feverish curiosity. I have mad respect for Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa after this episode because his decades of theatre obsession are on full display — references to Stage Door Manor, Spiderman: Turn Off the Dark, and Pose? Okay, bish!
Katy Keene Episode Seven FAN REACTIONS
— Riverdale After Dark: A Riverdale Podcast (@RiverdaleDark) March 20, 2020
Katy: Where the hell did you come from??
— lexasami ⎈ (@lexasami) March 20, 2020
— Davia Carter (@davia_carter) March 20, 2020
— Davia Carter (@davia_carter) March 20, 2020
— Ashleigh Murray (@iamamurray) March 20, 2020