Katy Keene Episode Six Recap: Happily Never After

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It’s a full house here on Katy Keene episode six tonight! Or, should I say, four nights ago… Long story short, your trusted recapper (aka Me) was supposed to have a night off, but my substitute did not pull through with that #content. Whatever, you would’ve missed me too much. If the craziness of this week has you a little behind on your third-favorite Archie Comics series too, get ready for a Riverdale cameo, a royal screw-up, and Shangela of Ru-Paul’s Drag Race fame blessing our screens. Better late than never, right?

Katy Keene Episode Six Recap: WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!

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Katy goes back to her childhood apartment to mail her Parson’s application in the ugliest effing jacket I’ve ever seen. Is this an attempt at dramatic irony? Foreshadowing? And what college accepts applications by snail mail? Katy’s friends want her to celebrate with a quick rebound — we love a sex-positive series — but Katy isn’t ready to get back out there. She’d rather focus on work, and lucky for her, the happily engaged Prince Errol and Patty are in town for their engagement photos. Patty’s desire to please Errol’s family is causing trouble, and fixing their relationship is somehow in Katy’s job description. It’s hard for Katy to solve Errol and Patricia’s problems when she’s dealing with her own. KO is supposedly boffing Satan — no, not Luke Cook‘s Guy LaMontagne, the dastardly Xandra Cabot. Katy agrees to meet Pepper’s photographer friend for a rebound, but the real sparks fly between her and Errol as she fixes HIS ENGAGEMENT PHOTOSHOOT. Big Yikes. As a reward for saving the shoot, Gloria informs Katy that her mother did work at Lacy’s, but was fired around the time of Katy’s birth. Gloria’s hid an official-looking letter from her file, so this mystery isn’t over yet.

Jorge’s coveted Thursday night spot at Mollie’s Crisis is being threatened by the Miss Washington Height’s pageant. The winner is going to be Shangela take over that prime time programming, and if we’ve learned anything about Jorge from the past five episodes, it’s that he’s pathologically allergic to doing anything right. True to form, Jorge is ready to throw a tantrum and throw in the towel until his mother offers to help prepare him to lip-sync fight for his life. She gives Jorge her Miss Puerto Rico dress and a tragic lesson in smizing.

Josie’s EP is finished. Already? I need someone to very clearly state how much time has passed between episodes because this should have taken months. The mother formerly known as Sheriff McCoy visits and is immediately suspicious of the Cabot family. Me too, girl. Xandra finesses a copy of Josie’s contract and shows Alex the clause stipulating that Josie needs to keep Alex in line. Alex shows up to Josie’s EP release decidedly *not* fine. He’s plastered and makes a huge scene. Sheriff McCoy threatens the elder Mr. Cabot that if he doesn’t treat her baby girl with respect, she’ll take down his entire operation. Sheriff McCoy is fully supportive of Josie’s dream, but she warns Josie to stay away from men that act like her alcoholic father. Sober Alex apologizes to Josie the next morning and reveals that he is, in fact, a recovering addict. They reconcile. Is this show going to get low-key dark? Or are they messing with things they lack the bandwidth to handle? Guess we’re going to find out next week.

Katy makes the mature decision and takes Pepper’s photog phriend to the EP release, but he noticed Errol’s wandering eye, too. He still tries to take Katy home, but they settle for a goodnight kiss. Obviously, it was underwhelming, or I would have bothered learning his name. Prince Errol shows up on Katy’s doorstep. He called off his engagement because Patty was so easily changed by fame. Don’t trust him, girl! Ginger invites Errol to his drag pageant, with a Joe from You costume as his only disguise. Ginger chokes during the Q&A and his new foe Devereaux (aka Shangela) destroys Ginger’s showstopper dress. Things look bleak until Errol gives Ginger a pep-talk to encourage her to finish the pageant, but I still don’t trust him. Anyone who admits to proposing to their rebound then dumps said rebound during their engagement needs therapy, not a new FWB. And he’s a client! This is a recipe for disaster. Still, Ginger does bounce back, but obviously Devereaux wins. Like, sorry, but Ginger choked. And not in the sexy way. She’s relegated to Mollie’s Wednesday slot (boo effing hoo), but she gains a Fairy Drag Mother to guide him to new heights in the form of Katy’s boss, Francois, a drag legend. Oh, and Pepper’s former Concierge with Benefits threatens to out her as a scammer because she got fired for helping Pepper escape the palace. Just FYI.

Speaking of sex, Katy spends a royal knight night with Errol, and he dips before dawn. Ouch. Katy ends up spending her morning after with KO, who shows up to pick up some boxes. KO explains that he’s just Xandra’s body guard and occasional boxing coach, nothing more. Seems like a missed opportunity to me, but KO’s such a sweetheart that he’s not ready to rebound. Katy still lowkey sucks and ditches him for a work emergency. Oh, and that emergency is Patricia asking Katy to design her wedding dress… TBH, seems like Karma to me.

Most CW Moment

Any opportunity for an Archie Comics crossover!

Katy Keene Episode Six: Weirdest “New York” Moment

Even if Errol found some princely way to finesse Katy’s address, how did he get into the building? Did he buzz random numbers until someone buzzed him in? Was his highness chilling outside on her stoop until someone opened the door… in Washington Heights with no security? Sure, Jan.

How We Feel

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I have a confession to make. I am not cool enough to watch Ru-Paul’s Drag Race. Homegirl is clearly a big deal (thanks, Twitter, for the heads-up) and she low-key looks like Lady Gaga, so we’re ready for her to f*ck up Jorge’s life. Sorry, but I’m still not rooting for him at all. He’s entitled, he immediately gives up when things are difficult (and one a capella performance does not equate to character growth), and he learned nothing about believing in himself from his hot firefighter boyfriend. Like, yeah, Shangela. Do your thing, girl. And if this influx of new and relevant drag stars mean I finally have to get around to watching Drag Race “for work,” I guess my day job will just have to wait! The binge starts now.

Making Alexander an alcoholic was a bold move for a show that’s proudly proclaimed itself a fairy-tale reimagining of NYC. There’s nothing magical or whimsical about addiction, and Katy has already started dropping plot lines six episodes in — How is she juggling window dressing and personal shopping? Where’d Guy go? Wasn’t Pepper dating her former concierge… or was that just gay-baiting for ratings? So, I’m sorry if I don’t trust this fantasyland tour of being young and artistic in the city to afford Alex’s situation the gravity it necessitates. Especially if they frame it as Josie falling for a man with the same disease as her abusive father. I hope Katy Keene proves me wrong, I really do.

Ending on a more fun note: Which Prince of England is Errol based on, Harry or William? His tragic dead mother backstory *must* be a Windsor reference, but both real-life royals married commoners. Do the Katy Keene writers have some scalding tea we don’t know about? Please leave your guesses in the comments because I need to know.

Katy Keene Episode Six FAN REACTIONS