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Nancy Drew Season 1, Episode 7 Recap: I Hear Dead People

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nancy Drew Recap Season 1

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Welcome to The Whisp‘s Nancy Drew recap season 1, episode 7, where at least 80% of the episode didn’t matter at all. Seriously, it was like fifteen minutes of extremely necessary information and thirty minutes of filler. I know that IRL investigations mostly consist of asking obvious questions and hoping for honest answers, but if I was looking for a genuine depiction of police work, I would watch In Ice Cold Blood on Oxygen — at least that sh*t has Ice T. Until the day Nancy Drew becomes sexy and fun again, I watch so you don’t have to.

NANCY DREW RECAP SEASON 1, EPISODE 7: WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!

the drew crew

The CW

George’s mom, Victoria, is in a panic because last episode’s shipwreck coins have drawn an influx of ghosts to Horseshoe Bay. She copes by downing a bottle of something strong and falling asleep in public, but Nancy needs Victoria to conduct a seance with Dead Lucy during the spooky New Moon. Ace helps Nancy do a little spooky interview prep by hacking into the public library’s archives. The Drew Crew takes a trip to the year 2000 through a video of Lucy’s Sea Queen ceremony when the first runner-up whispered something heartbreaking in Lucy’s ear during her crowning. That former beauty queen (or, when they lose, are they considered a beauty pleb?), Candice, is still living in Horseshoe Bay, and she readily admits to calling Lucy an attention-seeking skank who slept with the judges.

Laura is on a one-woman crusade against the Horseshoe Bay Police Department, much to the chagrin of Ace, who we just remembered is still the Sheriff’s b*tch. When Laura isn’t putting up angry signs, she’s making us all jealous by making out with Ace and complimenting him on his shiny, shiny Jake Gyllenhaal hair. He’s skeptical of her motives after learning she tried to sue Tiffany for her inheritance, but he’s also a teenage boy who will completely abandon his morals for a quickie in the Claw freezer. I’d make a joke about calling the health department, but it’s not like anyone’s eating that food. Ace chooses this as the moment to have his first-ever thought: Would he know if he was sleeping with a murderer? For most people, that answer would be a resounding “probably,” but this is Ace we’re talking about. Nancy’s mortician friend calls just in time to freak Ace out even more by confirming that Tiffany was poisoned.

Sisterly lawsuits and spectral chats aside, Nick tells Nancy that the Hudsons paid off Carson Drew two days after Lucy’s death (ominous!). Nick asks why they would pay Carson $50,000 all at once, implying that it wasn’t your standard legal fee, but the real question here is why they would pay $50,000 of hush money *all at once*. If anything, that proves Carson’s innocence — there’s no way anyone could be that stupid. Right? This is probably just a red herring to throw a wrench in Nick and Nancy’s relationship, but backup boyfriend Owen is fine as hell, so we’re cool with it.

The Sheriff asks Nancy for help solving Tiffany’s murder, but his line of questioning tips Nancy off to Ace’s involvement in the Sheriff’s investigation. AKA, that Ace is a snitch. Ace explains that he’s under the Sheriff’s thumb because he was caught hacking into a government computer system, and he seems genuinely sorry even though he’s the one being blackmailed. Like, if Nancy doesn’t tap into some of that self-preserving spirit, she is fully going to end up in jail for trespassing.

Victoria bails on the seance because she doesn’t want to get killed by demons, so George takes the reins. This was never going to go well, but it could have gone worse. We learned some stuff: Candice Weaver didn’t murder Lucy, but the Hudsons might have. Nancy is being haunted because of what she found in her attic. Lucy and Tiffany were killed by two different people, but Lucy knows who killed Tiffany. So much information, and yet nothing especially helpful. An unseen force rips Lucy from the circle before Nancy can ask the most important question &mdash whether her father is a murderer — and the ritual melts Nick’s shipwreck coins. One step forward, two steps back. The trauma of the night’s events triggers Nick and Nancy’s breakup, presenting the opportunity for a future love quartet because love triangles are so 2016.

Tonight’s episode proved that Nancy is the worst sleuthing prodigy in the history of noir fiction. She linked her texts to her shared family Cloud account, giving Carson access to all of her private messages and an opportunity to steal Lucy’s evidence from Nancy’s mortician friend. Oh, and a ghost that definitely isn’t Dead Lucy is trapped in George’s little sister’s toy, unbeknownst to anyone over the age of twelve. Before we can worry about that, Laura and Ace get into a massive car accident while Ace is spying on Tiffany’s sneaky sister, and Nancy flat out asks her dad if he killed Lucy Sable. Nancy, sweetie, if solving murders was that easy, everyone would do it!

NUMBER OF TERRIFYING JUMP SCARES: 2.5

The creepy hands were a nice touch.

THE MOST CW MOMENT

Bess shopping for a six-bedroom cottage with a guest house to replace the van she’s been living in.

Nancy Drew Recap Season 1, Episode 7: HOW WE FEEL

Drew Recap Season 1

The CW

Nancy Drew, back at it again with the creepy children’s choir. In case you had forgotten about Lucy Sable and the entire concept of the series, Nancy Drew opened with a quick rehashing of the Dead Lucy myth, the facts of the case, and small-town America’s love of denial all before The Claw had their first customer, which in retrospect isn’t surprising since The Claw never has any customers. That’s one way to convince Riverdale’s lead-in audience to stick around. Seriously, the first five minutes was just Nancy recapping Nancy Drew‘s past six episodes. News flash, b*tches: That’s my job.

If Nancy Drew kills off one of the only two attractive men on the show, I will riot. It looks like Ace is going to be saved by some supernatural inception sh*t, but the writers knew what they were doing when they decided to threaten the life of their second-hottest lead before a two-week hiatus. Meanwhile, the CW casting team made an uncharacteristic misstep by hiring a police chief who isn’t hot *and* can’t act. Like, nine times out of ten they cast people who can’t act, but we accept it because they’re beautiful. The CW is the land of beautiful, untalented actors with nowhere else to go. Just give us what we came for!

My main takeaway from this week, sadly, is that I’m bored. I have no doubt that these tiny puzzle pieces really are serving some larger goal and that promise would have kept me interested enough to tune in even if I wasn’t being paid to write these recaps, but these episodes are starting to blend into one lumpy grey-ish blob. Big Reveals like Bess’s British accent are only satisfying if they have lasting repercussions, and there’s too much being introduced and abandoned for me to really give a sh*t. I know 22 episodes is a lot of ground to cover, but I think I speak for all twelve of Nancy Drew’s viewers when I say that I’d rather see what Owen is up to than waste 20 minutes on some random mom who doesn’t actually end up helping with anything. Or maybe it’s just me, but I’m worried that Nancy Drew is missing the forest for the trees.

Join us on December 7th our next Nancy Drew recap season 1, episode 8. It honestly looks like another Monster of the Week thing, but if Buffy the Vampire Slayer can get through a scattered first season, maybe Nancy can too.

FAN REACTIONS

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