Riverdale may be a teen show, but it's definitely not just about the teens! The Riverdale parents often find themselves in on the drama and mysteries that haunt the small town. Sometimes they're the source of all the craziness that befalls these poor teens! But there is one more thing that the parents and teens of Riverdale have in common: hotness. Yep, some of the Riverdale parents are even hotter than their kids! Considering many of them are played by former teen heartthrobs, it totally makes sense that they would be smoking hot MILFs and DILFs!
Not every parent on the show is a certified hottie, but there are more than a few that we would take over their kids any day! A little salt 'n pepper hair can be amazing, Y'all. Sorry, not sorry. There has been plenty of debate about the hottest teenagers on the show but today we're ranking hottest parents! Here are all of the Riverdale parents ranked by hotness!
Cliff (Barclay Hope) is the least hot Riverdale parent — inside and out! No spoilers here, but Cliff may just be the worst parent on this entire show. His dastardly deeds and immoral behavior only adds to his lack of hotness. Even if he had been a perfect dad, though, we doubt he'd rank much higher. It's hard to be hot when you constantly wear a newsboy hat and have a combover! Luckily, his kids Cheryl (Madelaine Petsch) and Jason (Trevor Stines) look(ed) nothing like their dad!
Hal (Lochlyn Munro), like Cliff, is a pretty terrible and psychotic dude. That only adds to the fact that he's a pretty average looking dad. His intolerance of anything having to do with the Blossom family (including his own grandkids!) really taints any attractiveness he could possibly have. Also the serial killer thing. This is another one of the Riverdale parents that's ugly inside and out! That said, when you look up Lochlyn photos from back in the day, he deff had something going for him.
The patriarch and the matriarch of the Blossom family both rank pretty low in terms of hotness (and parenting skill, if we're being totally honest). Ranking women based on hotness always feels a little bit off, but Penelope (Nathalie Boltt) is so vicious we're not too sad about ranking her so low. She's thin and severe looking, adding to her cold personality. Penelope basically looks like every creepy woman in a horror movie ever. It makes sense considering she acts like a total nightmare as well!
We don't know a whole lot about Marty (Matthew Yang King) which is a benefit and hindrance on his hotness rankings. On the one hand, we don't think he's a terribly negligent father. On the other hand, he's not much of a developed character so we can only judge him on looks alone. (Personality is a factor in hotness too, guys!). Manty's just... okay. He's a dad! He definitely looks like someone who was hot in high school but who grew up and just embraced the dad lewk. Not poorly, but normally. There are way hotter parents in Riverdale to ogle at and Marty, unfortunately, doesn't stack up amongst them!
Ah, another addition to the "Bad Dads of Riverdale" club. Is anyone a supportive parent in this town?! Myles (Reese Alexander) may be a musician but that doesn't mean he supports his daughter's pop music endeavors. This, once again, knocks his hotness down a peg. Along with all the fedoras. Ew. Otherwise, he's not a bad looking man. He's tall, dark, and somewhat handsome with a salt and pepper beard. But he's a huge jerk and not nearly hunky enough to pull it off so he ranks a bit low here!
Floyd (Colin Lawrence) is a middle-of-the-road looking dad. Not ugly, not super hot. Just pretty normal. He gets extra points for his athleticism since he is the varsity football coach! He's also a tough but fair dad, and treats the kids he coaches with respect while still guiding them to success. Floyd definitely isn't ugly, but there are way hotter dads walking around this town! Which is why the coach ranks right around the middle.
Sometimes the gray hair just works. NGL, this is the first certified DILF on the list, which just goes to show that the Riverdale cast is stacked with hotties. Tom (Martin Cummins) is one of the older looking Riverdale parents, but that doesn't mean he isn't hot! This town sheriff is an upstanding citizen (one of the few in Riverdale!) and commands authority which is pretty sexy in and of itself. Adding to his hotness? The fact that he's always willing to go to bat for his kid! He won't be everyone's cup of tea, though, so he's a mid-tier ranking hottie.
Mary is played by '80s teen queen Molly Ringwald so, of course, she's pretty cute! Mary also isn't a totally terrible person which only adds to her attractiveness. Sure, she was out of her son's life for two years prior to the start of the series. But when it comes to Riverdale parenting skills, staying away from your kid is basically as good as it gets. As far as Riverdale parents go, though, she's not as completely drool-worthy as some of her co-stars. She's a super pretty mom and a genuinely good person but she's pretty run of the mill as far as hot parents in this town go. Others are basically supermodels. We won't lie, though, she can rock a red lip with her red hair better than anyone!
Gladys is played by Gina Gershon so of course she's ranking in the top ten! Sure, she's a career criminal and a questionable mother. But Gershon is a national treasure so we'll allow it. Gladys may not be the most upstanding citizen but she is a total badass. She can run crime rings and get rid of enemies with the best of them. Also, despite leaving her children at a young age, she does care for them and wants them to have the best in life. She may not be the most honest of the Riverdale parents but she's definitely one of the hottest!
Alice (Mädchen Amick) is one sexy MF mom! She's rocked everything from a feminine pencil skirt to a snakeskin jumpsuit with a plunging neckline. She's sophisticated, but can totally turn up the hotness when she feels like it! She can be a bit uptight and judge-y (especially towards those she thinks are of a lower class than her!), but deep down she remembers where she came from. Alice is also a protective parent and clearly loves her kids. We're starting to wonder if there is a correlation between hotness and being a good parent in Riverdale! Oh and when she gets together with Skeet Ulrich, the two just work off of each other's hotness. We're here for it.
Sierra (Robin Givens) is definitely the better-looking half of the McCoy marriage! This hot mom of Riverdale is also the mayor, so she's more than just a pretty face. Her personality only adds to her attractiveness, too. She's a supportive mother, an accepting mayor, and a woman who preaches and practices confidence. That confidence contributes to her hotness like crazy! She's also one of the most stylish moms on the show. We can't lie, we love a good day-to-night dress and Sierra rocks them like no other!
The Lodge's may be one of the most feared families in town but there is no denying that they're made up of some hot people! Hermione (Marisol Nichols) is undeniably the sexiest mom in Riverdale. She's perfectly tan, has an incredible body, and rocks a wardrobe that's to die for. Many think that her husband is the brains behind the business they run together, but Hermione is just as intelligent and savvy as he is. She's playing her cards wisely behind the scenes. She definitely doesn't need him and can run their criminal empire (ahem, "legitimate business") all on her own if she wanted. Hermione is whip-smart, dead sexy, and by far one of the hottest Riverdale parents!
Hermione's husband is just as hot as she is! Hiram (Mark Conseulos) is a businessman whose business is really drugs and organized crime. But for all his faults we can't deny how ridiculously beautiful he is! Consuelos has been a Hollywood heartthrob since his soap opera days and has clearly only gotten better with age. Between him and Hermione, we can understand why their daughter Veronica (Camila Mendes) is one of the hottest teens on the series! Where can we get some of the superior Lodge genes?!
Fred Andrews is played by the OG Hollywood hottie: Luke Perry. Ever since his days on the '90s hit Beverly Hills 92010 Perry has been one of the most fawned-over bad-boys on TV. He just has the kind of face that makes you want to save him! On Riverdale, though, he's calm and collected. More so than any role he's played before. Fred is responsible and hard-working, doing everything he can to support his teen son. It makes him that much hotter because he's trying to be a great dad and provide a legacy for his kid. It also doesn't hurt that Perry looks perfectly rugged with his beard and flannels. He was basically born to play a hot small-town dad!
Yes, he's in a gang. Oh, and yeah, he's done a stint or two in jail. But we can't deny the fact that FP (Skeet Ulrich) is one of the hottest parents in all of Riverdale. He's a bad boy with a heart of gold so, yeah, he's hard to resist. He's literally a gang leader and we can't stay away! That's how hot he is! Ulrich has been a total babe since his days in the original Scream film and time has only made him hotter. Like a fine wine, the dads of Riverdale are aging perfectly and getting more delicious with age!