An Astrological Approach To Cuffing Season (Which, BTW, *Officially* starts October 23)
When we put away the bathing suits and start reaching for fall sweaters, many things come to mind: apple picking, leaf-peeping, Hyyge, winter holidays and, for some single people, it’s cuffing season. Whether you love or hate the idea of “cuffing season,” you can’t deny the fact that it is so real when you see all your friends coupling-up for cute fall and winter-themed dates as the weather gets colder. House of Intuition founders, Marlene Vargas and Alex Naranjo, wanted to share some tips to help stay grounded as cuffing season approaches, and to weave in astrological compatibility advice to help people trust themselves and tap into their intuition.
First and foremost, set your intention and communicate it. All relationships take an emotional toll, so decide upfront what you want and share it with your partner. Even short relationships require thought, time and energy so avoid the drama with transparency. Practicing the power of setting intention can help reinforce your boundaries and guarantee the relationship to be mutually beneficial because it’s grounded on honestly.
When we zoom out, the planet Venus rules the sign of Libra, which makes it an energy that thrives in a relationship and is always looking for ways to create harmony, beauty, and fair play with others. It’s not surprising that we all feel a little more responsive and attracted to each other during Libra season. Currently, Venus, the planet of love, pleasure, and resources, and Mercury, the planet of interpersonal communication, are both in Libra and will be there until early October. This means we’re marinating in great energy for expressing our love and attraction for one another and for communicating about what we need and desire in relationships. As Venus and Mercury move into Scorpio, Mars, the planet that gives us energy and confidence to take initiative and get any job done, will enter Libra. This is when we can expect to feel passionate in our new and existing relationships. Once planets enter into Scorpio, the energy of relationships deepen — as do feelings and desires.
In November, Mercury will go retrograde in Scorpio, so it’s not a great time to move toward every desire-impulse we have to find or deepen new relationships. It’s a time for reflection about what we need on a deep emotional level in relationships with others. When Mercury is retrograde, we may not have all the facts and information we need to make steps in the highest and best direction, and we could resort to making emotional decisions that we have to correct later. Still, if we can keep in mind that getting to know someone new takes time and honest disclosure about what we feel and need, then this Scorpio season can benefit us in healthy, spiritual and transformative ways in terms of forming deep, lasting relationships.
In traditional Astrology, certain elements (Fire, Air, Water, and Earth) have the highest potential of attracting each other and remaining solid. It is said that Fire signs (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius) are best suited with other Fire signs and Air signs (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius), and Earth signs (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn) are best suited with other Earth signs or Water signs (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces). This is because the qualities that make up the elemental energies are similar or complementary.
Fire signs are often bold, independent, creative, full of energy and passionate by nature. They don’t seek approval before making moves because they often make decisions by trusting their gut. They can have a taste for drama because of their attraction to challenge, and because they have the courage, confidence, and energy to meet challenges. They have an honesty and directness when communicating that can be intimidating or off-putting to the wrong type of person because again, they don’t seek the approval of others before they say what’s on their minds. At a basic level, Fire signs crave adoration, encouragement, and space from their partners. They seek out partners who are independent, confident and somewhat adventurous with their lives.
When Fire signs meet other Fire signs, there is a level of understanding and respect that comes with the partnership. It’s as if two empowered people have bowed to one another — the power struggle of who-leads-who is intuitively decided. In conflict (because there will be one when these two energies are sharing space!), a respect for the other’s power remains always under the surface, and this helps to smooth out differences.
Air signs are the intellectuals of the Zodiac. They are often caught in conversation with their minds, forever trying to “figure things out.” They contemplate themselves and analyze people and information before arriving at a conclusion about how they feel about them. They love learning, so when meeting new people, they’re curious and talkative since this is how they can absorb the information they need. Because the mind is a confined place, air signs need lots of freedom and space to keep their minds clear. If connections with others get too rigid or constrained, they’ll seek ways to isolate.
Conversation flows between air signs because their thoughts naturally go from one idea to the next very quickly. They can feel a natural bond with each other because they’re both curious about each other and the way they learn about each other is similar and easy. A connection between two air signs feels light, and to some, shallow, because the way air signs connect to their hearts is through their intellect and shared ideas.
Fire and Air signs typically complement each other well because Air signs largely live for logic and ideas while fire signs have the energy and focus to carry them out. Both elements need and appreciate space, freedom, and personal boundaries in order to remain intact. Fire signs light the passion inside sometimes-distant-and-brainy air signs’ hearts while Air signs fan the flames of passion and ambition in Fire signs with their natural curiosity and fascination with them.
Earth signs (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn) possess a foundation and tenacity in life that other signs don’t have. While Fire has the power to pursue and transmute challenges, Earth contains its own energy so well that they end or overcome challenges. Earth signs are sure of themselves because they are deeply rooted in their value system, which they’ve developed over time and through life lessons. They are very difficult to shake or move if they aren’t open adjustments or big change. Most often others rely on Earth signs and may even neglect how much they depend on them because Earth signs are so capable of helping and supporting others. Earth signs don’t usually wear their emotions on their sleeve, so they connect well with partners who are emotionally supportive, who nurture relationships, and who accept their routine habits but can bring inspiration and excitement into their lives.
Earth signs who find other Earth sign partners have an easy connection that’s mutually supportive. There’s pragmatism within the relationship so that they act like teammates in the way they handle life’s challenges. They depend on one another as they would themselves. To some, it may not seem like an emotionally dimensional connection, but deep down in, Earth sign partnerships are connected at the root-level. They are their own tribe and there’s a fundamental understanding that they have each other’s backs. Neither of them will rush the other, and they’ll both work at whatever it is they want to build including their connection. There’s a mutual understanding that the long game is a winning one.
Water signs (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces) are known to reveal their hopes, dreams and emotions to others sooner than most signs. Fire can fall in love very quickly, almost impulsively, and then just as quickly move on when the passion is gone while Water signs will often remain emotionally attached to whomever it is they’ve vowed to love much longer than they’d like to admit. The reason is that Water signs connect from the heart — what matters to them in partnerships is how emotionally connected they and their partners feel to each other. Water signs are highly intuitive people who learn about others by feeling and sensing them. If they don’t feel safe or if it’s too challenging to make or keep a connection going, they’ll take their investments elsewhere. Water signs attract to them who they want with subtly and intuition. Once a connection is established, they win hearts by offering themselves wholly to others, often self-sacrificing their own needs.
Water signs need partnerships that remain solid for them and can stick by them through rain or shine. Earth signs are a great match for water energy because they’ll do just that. Earth energy is slow-moving and rarely abandons its investments, whether that’s emotional or material. Water signs can provide the emotional grounding and consistency that makes a Water sign feel safe, and Water signs provide nurturance and sensuality for their Earth sign partners.
Water signs who connect with other Water signs connect first with their hearts, which creates a kind of sexual attraction. They depend on each other emotionally, often accepting the other’s shortcomings for the benefit of the mutual connection between them. Water signs are emotional creatures who understand life in terms of natural ups and downs, and they’re able to flow with life in a way other signs would resist. Within a Water sign partnership, there is a constant flow, and both partners must be able to synch rhythms with the other or offer space for each other to fully experience different moods. Because they can be so intuitive and empathic with their partners, it isn’t too challenging for Water signs to generously give their partners what they need.
Of course, all of this comes from traditional Astrology. These days it isn’t uncommon to see people with traditionally “clashing” signs to be in lasting relationships together. There are a few reasons for this.
For one, each of us is made up of all twelve astrological signs if you look at a whole birth chart. The Sun sign isn’t the only astrological energy that guides us when we’re open and looking for quality partnerships. We each have a Moon and Rising sign as well. The Moon sign gives us more detail about who we feel at home with and the Rising sign offers us guidance on how we present ourselves to others. In addition, there are five major planetary energies and placements that can also tell us more about what we offer to others and what we need from others. You can learn more about these placements by receiving an astrological birth chart reading with an astrologer.
Secondly, we’re an interesting bunch these days as we’re collectively upgrading our awareness around emotional intelligence and spiritual and energetic wellness. What used to limit us we’re now exploring. For many couples, just because an Astrology book says they aren’t an ideal match, their felt connection is what solidifies their belief in each other. It’s an incredible time to get out in the world and meet people.
Lastly, the best way to meet your person today is to be unabashedly, unforgivably, wholly and completely your truest self. That’s where authenticity and connection really thrive — regardless of your astrological sign. By living your authentic self and setting intention, a more mindful approach will help you savor the moments, regardless of whether you stay ‘cuffed’ to your seasonal beau or not.
The above article was a guest submission from Christa Westaway, a reader and practicing astrologer at LA-based House of Intuition.