Adulting

Is A Weighted Blanket The Answer To All Our Problems? We Tested One Out!

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Therapedic


I don’t know if money can buy you happiness, but it can buy you a weighted blanket and that just might be the same thing.

As a kid, hugs were the antidote to bad dreams, bad moods, and bad days in general. But as a grown adult(ish) person, forcing someone to embrace you every time you have the Sunday Scaries or a hangover or a spat with Comcast isn’t always feasible. Enter the weighted blanket. For years, dog owners have been using “thunder vests” during fireworks, storms or to chill out nervous rescue dogs, kind of like how a baby is soothed when you swaddle it.

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Thundershirt.com

And recently, adult-sized thunder vests — aka weighted blankets — have hit the market and MY GOD, IT’S ABOUT TIME. I’ve always made my dentist leave on that heavy lead X-ray smock on me the entire appointment, and, let’s not forget Carrie Bradshaw’s iconic cry: “I need to feel the weight of a man on top of me!” I mean, what even IS a boyfriend beyond just a sentient weighted blanket that needs regular feeding?

So, I gave my BF the week off from relentless emotional support and turned to a weighted blanket instead. There are a ton on the market, but this one by Therapedic ($149-$189 from Bed, Bath & Beyond) has the Kristin Chenoweth thumbs up, and really, do we need any further justification to buy something? No.

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StarTracks/Therapedic

But the O.G. is The Magic Blanket, which offers a variety of sizes/weights depending on your height and weight because, obviously, you don’t want your feet poking out:

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MagicBlanket.com

Meant to be wrapped around shoulders, laid across your lap or draped over your full body, the throws are helpful for anxiety, sleep disorders (they help increase serotonin and melatonin overnight), ADD, Aspergers, and Autism disorders, cramps, and even Alzheimers. Me? I just wanted to turn my brain off and watch my Instagram Stories without wine, is that too much to ask?

The second I slipped under my blanket, I let out a sound of pure pleasure my boyfriend may have some trouble matching. Snuggly, cozy, and zen’d out, I felt almost catatonic I was so relaxed and soothed. I wasn’t anxiety-snacking, anxiety-drinking or anxiety-scrolling through my phone. I was just LOAFING.

I ended up falling asleep on my couch and slept deeply and dreamlessly, waking up almost evangelical about how great these things are. But, there are two downsides: if you pair a weighted blanket with a memory foam mattress, keep your room extra cool since the combo can be pretty steamy. And, these things aren’t cheap: they range between $89 and $200, but I’m willing to put a price tag on a good night’s sleep and some reprieve from intense climate anxiety.

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