Mind & Body
It’s Officially Breakup Season: 5 Tips To Ensure Your Relationship Survives
Of all the things that exist to threaten our relationships — still-in-the-picture exes, distance, cheating — breakup season is a doozy. “People who feel that their relationship has the expiration date — whether it’s before the holidays or after — think, I’d rather just nip it in the bud and breakup,” says Rori Sassoon, a matchmaker in New York City, in an interview with Cosmopolitan.
According to Facebook data, there were two big spikes identified throughout the year where couples are most likely to break up. These include the weeks leading up to Christmas and those to Valentine’s Day (December 11 was apparently the biggest breakup day of the year), with notable mention also given to the warmer months (March, specifically).
Before you go cursing Cupid before this year’s Valentine’s Day, buckle up, hold your lover close, and read these tips to ensure your relationships survives.
Up your communication
Chris Pratt and Anna Faris, Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan, Cardi B and Offset… 2018 was yet another year with some heartbreaking celeb breakups that no one saw coming (and we’re still not over them). In celeb relationships, some common reasons why they break up is because of conflicting schedules, long distance, and a lack of communication. Now, we’re not saying that regular relationships are the same as celeb ones (do we have our own private jet yet? no), but the same principles do apply: you have to communicate in order for the romance to thrive.
This is especially true as breakup season exists in busy, high-stress times. Wit so many events going on, it’s easy to feel burnt out and to let your relationship take the back burner. Instead of shutting down or ghosting, communicate to your partner how you’re feeling. Being honest and vulnerable will help ensure your needs get met, and vice versa. Take solace in handling the stress together instead of letting it tear you apart.
Don’t let the whole ‘breakup season’ play with your head
Self-fulfilling prophecies are a thing. It’s when you believe in something happening so much that your behavior can actually create the conditions for it to take place. In this case, if you believe that you and your partner will be affected by the breakup season, then it is more likely to happen as you might pull away, get anxious, and always be on the look-out for signs that things are coming to an end. This sort of behavior will only serve to drive you and your partner away from one another.
Instead, remain calm. Have faith in the relationship. You are with each other for a reason, so devote some extra time to the relationship. Work on developing a connection that is so strong that no outside forces could come between you.
The very notion of breakup season causes even the most solid of couples to evaluate their relationship. They wonder: are we happy enough? Can we survive this? The issue with this is that they have shifted from being grateful for what they have to creating doubt in what they don’t have. This can cause cracks in an otherwise strong relationship.
Practice gratitude instead. By doing so, you will be able to cherish the relationship even more and let the small stuff roll off your shoulders. You’ll find that it makes those little annoying quirks a little more loveable, like that annoying laugh he does when something is really funny. We recommend starting by writing down 5 things you are grateful for in the morning. You could even say the things out loud to each other as a romantic way to deepen your bond.
Take advantage of all the fun events surrounding this time as a couple
While you might be stressed out looking at your busy new year calendar, it’s actually a great time for you and your boo to get out and have some fun! It could even bring back some of that honeymoon stage magic as you can get all dolled up, laugh, and enjoy the time together with family and friends.
Be mindful of how you are feeling and if you are over-socializing yourself. A sense of obligation makes us feel guilty and cave to events that we otherwise would have skipped. Don’t be afraid to RSVP “no.” It’s important to honor your needs, especially as a couple. And it doesn’t hurt that it means more inside Netflix & Chill time for you!
Avoid negative energy
There’s nothing wrong with being single. What is a problem, however, is when the single turn bitter and make it their mission to make everyone around them feel just as miserable. They can be especially susceptible to this during Valentine’s Day, what with all the romance, couples, and their lack of it… so if you want to remain in a good mindset towards your relationship, avoid people who are going to make you feel crappy about being in your relationship. You may even have to talk to them and set some boundaries — it’s not rude for you to tell your friends what you need from them.