How To Know If You’re About To Get Dumped
There’s nothing like a breakup that completely blindsides you, but sometimes, the worst feeling is when you know the end is coming and you don’t know what to do to stop it. Nobody likes getting dumped — especially not in a relationship where they truly care about the other person — but it happens. It’s a fact of life. And if you have a feeling that your S/O is about to call it quits, there are a few signs you can look out for so you can decide if you want to end things first or if you want to try to fix what went wrong in your relationship.
It’s never easy to tackle relationship issues, especially if your partner seems checked out of it entirely. And if you see these signs in your relationship, you might want to brace yourself for heartbreak. Maybe it’ll be better if you’re prepared for it?
Communication isn’t what it used to be — or what it’s supposed to be
Communicating is obviously key in a relationship, but if you’re finding that it’s starting to get worse between you, you might have a breakup looming on the horizon. This can mean anything from failing to return your phone calls or texts (or not reaching out to you first… or at all) to shutting down anytime you try to discuss something with them. How can you have a relationship with someone who refuses to speak to you, even about the fun stuff? While some people are generally pretty closed off, communication skills should be getting better the longer you’re with some. If they’re getting worse, it’s a problem.
“While almost everyone can easily say that they are busy, when you find that someone isn’t being responsive early on in the relationship, it might be a sign that they don’t prioritize you, or relationships in general,” Erika Boissiere, founder of The Relationship Institute of San Francisco, told Bustle. “There are no hard rules on how ‘responsive’ someone needs to be, and it’s equally important to be patient. However, remember, don’t be overly patient with someone who will end up wasting your time.”
They’re super into their ex all of a sudden (or they never stopped being interested)
“Stalking their ex on social media? Getting caught up in drama with the ex? Maybe even daydreaming about them? These are all very bad signs,” relationship expert Jonathan Bennett told Bustle. “This means that their heart truly belongs to their ex. If this is the case, all it will take is one instance where the ex is extra ‘nice’ or comes back to end the relationship.”
Let’s face it — we can all sometimes carry around the bad habit of stalking our exes after a breakup, but that behavior shouldn’t follow us into our next relationship… and if you see that happening with your S/O, there needs to be a discussion. Being obsessed with a former flame isn’t really a quality you should want in a partner, even if they don’t seem to have any plans to try to get back together with that person. After all, their focus should be you!
Your S/O stops making plans that include you
When most people are in a relationship, they consider their S/O in their plans. If your partner stops doing that, it could mean that something is wrong. Do they spend time with their friends without you a lot more often than they once did, or do you find that they’ve started making plans for the future, big or small, without including you in them? That could be a sign things are about to end, because they’ve already decided you’re not going to be part of what’s going on a few months – or weeks – ahead.
“If your normal routine is to see each other a few times a week and on weekends and suddenly your significant other would rather go out for drinks with friends and go home alone instead of into your arms, assume they are creating more distance and are open to the possibilities of meeting someone else,” matchmaking expert Julie Spira wrote on her website.
You feel like they’re interested in someone else
This is the number-one universal sign that a breakup is going to happen… or, at the very least, you may end up being cheated on. You deserve someone who’s willing to devote all of their romantic attention and energy to you, so don’t settle for anything less. If there’s evidence that your S/O could be cheating – physically or emotionally – don’t stand for it. They don’t get to have their cake and eat it, too, or string you along until they’ve found the next relationship to jump into. Be mindful not to let common jealousy cloud your judgment, but also trust your instincts.
And remember: If someone’s willing to dump you, they’re really doing you a favor. Who wants to waste their time in a relationship that wasn’t going to work in the first place? Now, you’re single again and free to find the right person who better complements all you have to offer. That might just be the happiest ending you could hope for.