Sex & Relationships
Real Women Share Their Biggest Tinder Deal Breakers
When it comes to dating today, everyone has used a dating app or website at least once in their life. Whether it’s Tinder, or Bumble, or even Match.com—you’ve seen some dating profiles and what they entail. The more you use the apps and sites, the more you realize… “holy sh*t, everyone is the same.” For some strange reason, dudes online all take after each other, using the same old pick-up lines and the same lame poses at the same bars drinking the same vodka and soda (Vomit).
Women who use Tinder are a rare, strong breed. They put up with some of the dirtiest of the bunch. But, not all men on Tinder are duds. In fact, there are some men out there who are kind, patient, and looking for a serious relationship and not just a casual booty call — they just happen to be one in 100,000,000. And, while women are navigating the deep, dark corners of Tinder looking for that Goldhorn in the wild, there are dozens that they have to sift through to get to them — and they have instant deal breakers that will have them swiping left.
Bragging about having a job.
For one, men who are pushing the idea that they make money in their Tinder bios are setting themselves up for failure. 718blackhawks said:
“When men list, ‘Makin $$$’, under profession. I don’t understand are they printing out counterfeit bills?”
But honestly, everyone should be making money — especially if you’re old enough to be on Tinder, you should be able to hold down a job. If you’re not working and making money, how are you going to be able to afford to take me out on a date? Having a job is not something to brag about, it should be a requirement for anyone looking for a relationship (hell, or someone even looking for a booty call). Don’t flatter yourself, your entry-level job is not something to brag about.
Acting as though you’re too good for Tinder.
Truly. No one is “too good” to be on any dating website — because, if you were, you’d most likely have a significant other to go home to every day and not be cold and lonely like the rest of us are. In reality, positioning yourself as “too good” for Tinder and other dating apps makes you seem as pretentious and rude. If you’re too good for Tinder, don’t be on Tinder — obviously.
Being overly sexual before getting to know us.
One Reddit user made it clear:
“Not on the profile, but when they msg you out of nowhere and the first thing they say is sexual. I legitimately had a guy msg me, ‘I want to shoot in your mouth’ as a first msg. Never saw or heard from the guy before and THAT’S how he thinks it would be appropriate to start a conversation. I mean really.”
Men on Tinder are often looking for a hookup, point blank. But, at least humor us before you decide to ask us how flexible we are (literally). I don’t need you to tell me where you want to lick me or touch me. In all reality, even if we too are looking for just a casual fling, it’s nice to know that people care about our minds, ourselves, and who we are rather than just our bodies—just some food for thought.
Immaturity that’s written all over someone’s profile.
From too many emojis to things like…
“Have usernames like ‘bigdick34’ or ‘likestolick'”
Yeah, a bio and how you write it can tell a lot about your maturity. We don’t need you to use eggplant emojis all over the place, trying to tell us you have a d*ck (hint, hint, we get it, you do). Also, using poorly spelled words and improper grammar — yeah, we’re not 17-years-old anymore, it’s getting pretty old. We’re not looking to hookup at a house party like we’re back in high school, and trust me when I say no woman wants you to message them saying “sup? wut u doin 2nite?” Gross. That’s a promise.
Generalizing all women in one swift motion.
chickenandnuggies makes a pretty good point when she points out her deal breaker.
“Putting a quote in their bio about how most women are crazy and how he’s looking for a woman who isn’t crazy.”
First of all, who gave you the right to call any woman crazy? Bringing up exes is usually a no-go for women altogether, but talking sh*t about other women and generalizing us as crazy is also a huge bust. So you dated someone and it didn’t work out — who hasn’t? Doesn’t give you the right to go off calling women crazy because things didn’t work out. Yes, even if she keyed your car or whatever big claims you’ve got. If I were to go around saying every guy I dated/hooked up with was “crazy” because we ended sh*t… well, people would dub me a man-hater. You just don’t go trashing people in order to make yourself feel better. Jokes on you guys, you’re the ones who look crazy putting up quotes like that.
Trying too hard to look “impressive.”
Bragging about things and trying to embellish makes it look like you’re trying way too hard.
“I’ve been seeing a lot of the word ‘sapiosexual’ lately. I get that it’s probably used with the best of intentions, but to me, it comes across as pretentious,” one woman revealed.
And, I have to agree. It’s fine to want a woman who is smart and well-read, but putting that in your profile does come off pretentious and as though you’re trying to push the idea that you’re “smart,” and, almost always, guys who post this aren’t even into having real conversations about life, politics, and current events — they do it just to make sure they don’t seem like the kind of dogs that are just looking for a bone. Woof.
A picture is worth 1,000 words.
Let’s remember that the very first thing a woman sees on Tinder is your photo. So, you’re going to want to pick one that represents who you are. Not, like scarletnightingale points out, “The shirtless pic of you in your bathroom mirror.” I can’t even tell you how many women I’ve heard this feedback from as a dealbreaker. “Also, the group picture with no indication of who you are – I’ll assume you are the least attractive person in that picture and you are trying to use your more attractive friends to get me to click on your profile (frequently that seems to be the case). That irritates me since it feels like you are trying to pull a bait and switch”
Your picture should, and always should represent what you want to bring to the table. So often, guys think flexing shirtless is going to get us interested—nope, hard pass. We don’t want to see you in the mirror at the gym, or in your bathroom (especially when you haven’t cleaned in weeks). Also, putting up all group photos because you may be shorter than you think women like, or maybe a big stockier — stop trying to fake it. Be yourself, show us who you truly are. You’re more likely to keep a woman interested when you’re upfront and real about yourself rather than lying and trying to bait and switch.
What women want…
All in all, when speaking to real women who use Tinder on a normal to regular basis, the consensus is simple: be yourself and be real. Stop trying to gas yourselves up with all the edits, the fronts, the provocative behavior, and photos — just be you. The more “you” you are, the more we will be interested in persuing — unless, of course, you are a misogynistic pig who can’t respect women… thank u, next.