How To Slay This Valentine’s Day When You’re Single As F&*$
We’ve watched enough Sex and the City to know that being single can be tough. What’s even tougher, though, is being single during Hallmark’s most romantic day of the year AKA Valentine’s Day AKA The Worst Day of The Year for the bitter singles of the world.
If you thought this year’s plans included sobbing into a pint of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream and creating a voodoo doll of your ex, think again. It’s 2019 and your ex is trash. We’ve got the ultimate guide to slay this Valentine’s Day as a single and fabulous female.
Have a Galentine’s Day with your friends
In the wise words of Leslie Knope from Park’s and Recreation, Galentine’s Day (celebrated on February 13th) is all about “ladies celebrating ladies.” It’s a day to get all your best friends together to drink mimosas, eat brunch, and remember all the good times you’ve had together. No men allowed! It’s the perfect way to feel a little less alone this Valentine’s Day as you realize you already have soulmates in your life: your best girlfriends.
Sure, it would be romantic for a guy to show up on your doorstep with flowers and a box of your favorite chocolates, but who said you can’t do it yourself? Buy yourself a beautiful bouquet and eat your face off! Bonus: you can eat the whole box shamelessly. You can even treat yourself to that dress you’ve been eying at the store and a gourmet dinner. With no man around, those leftovers are all yours.
“Just be really nurturing to yourself,” says relationship therapist Nicole McCance in an interview with Global News. “Be your own Valentine and do something special for yourself. Cook that dinner, treat yourself to that expensive wine, listen to your favourite music. Sometimes you deserve some self-love.”
Nothing says self-care like a little wine, takeout, and a Netflix binge. You can even whip out the sweatpants or your coziest PJs since there is no one to impress. This means you can skip shaving your legs and wearing uncomfortable lingerie, go sans makeup, and be lazy on the couch for however long you want without someone making a fuss.
Call your parents or a friend
There are probably other singles in your life who need a little Valentine’s Day love. So why not call them up? It can be tough to take Valentine’s Day that seriously when there are so many holidays these days, including National Taco and National Cupcake Day, says sexologist and relationship expert Dr. Jessica O’Reilly to Global News. “I don’t think the strength of a relationship should be measured by the level of effort put into a celebration of the one day.” So even if your friend’s got a bae or “it’s complicated,” most of us probably aren’t having the V-Day you see in movies.
We all long for connection — especially on a day where it’s all about connecting with someone — so taking the time to call these people up will make them feel special and a little less alone. It’s a win-win when doing something to make another feel better can make you feel better, too!
Cool off on the dating apps
Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, Her — whatever you want, there’s a dating app out there that’ll remind you that the world is full with attractive single human beings and someone’s out there for you. But, in the beginning of February, with all the stress of failing New Year’s resolutions and the lead-up to Valentine’s day, it might be a good time to focus on yourself instead of swiping in a desperate search for a Valentine’s Day date.
Gender studies expert Lauren Rosewarne from the University of Melbourne says to keep February dating casual. “Trying to have an intense relationship, trying to find someone to be with on Valentine’s Day that you’ve just met, it’s a high amount of pressure for a first date.”
Maybe just stay off your phone on Valentine’s day. Social media already brings the envy monster out in all of us, so just think about how hard it will be on February 14 when there is picture after picture of couples. Couples holding hands. Couples kissing. Couples making vomit-inducing appreciation posts for their beau. Having love like that shoved in your face isn’t ideal, so skip the scrolling for the night. And remind yourself that this highlight reel isn’t showing the argument they got into last weekend when Billy left his phone on silent Friday night.
Throw an anti-Valentine’s Day party
Remember in the movie Valentine’s Day when Jessica Biel’s character throws an “I Hate Valentine’s Day” party? You don’t have to go that far and even get a piñata for people to hit (or you could; your call), but it can still be festive with decorations, good food, drinks, and your single gals. If you really want to go crazy, then pull a Monica, Rachel, and Pheobe from Friends and burn pictures of your ex. Just be careful not to start a fire like they did!
“I actually host an annual V.E.G.E. as in, Anti-Valentines Elephant Gift Exchange, and the gift theme is: things you would hate to get for Valentines Day,” says Chris Armstrong, a relationship coach in an interview with Buzzfeed.
You might want to keep the party away from restaurants since Valentine’s Day is definitely one of the worst nights to eat out. You’ll be all the more aware of your single status as you watch couples gaze lovingly into each other’s eyes over a romantic steak dinner. Or, you might even get stuck witnessing a proposal. Stick to ordering in instead. It’s easier, much safer, and you can drink however much you want for cheaper.
Most of all, remember that being single isn’t a bad thing
Sure, being in love is nice and it can feel amazing to finally understand what all the love songs have been talking about. But take solace in the fact that your time celebrating Valentine’s Day with someone you love will come. When you consider your time as a single girl as an investment to yourself and your future, it will shift your perception and help you realize that this time alone is so vital to figuring out who you are. It can even better prepare you for a serious relationship as you will know what you want and what you don’t.
You’ll never regret taking time caring for yourself. Having had this time alone will make the next Valentine’s Day you share with a special someone all the more sweeter.